you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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