I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
