she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
