I must be too annoying 4 u.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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