He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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