I bet he comes in French.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
