The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
