last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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