Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
