1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
