Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
