Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
