I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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