my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
