Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
