Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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