hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
