I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
