dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
