did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
