Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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