I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't put those talents on a resume
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
