are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize