so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
