i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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