I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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