OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
