well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
