I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
