So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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