You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
