Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So much Jack, so little girl.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
