I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize