is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The power of my boobs compel you
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
