What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
