Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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