Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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