The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize