The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
