If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
