By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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