I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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