whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
