it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
