Your tits are I can't wait for
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
