Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
