Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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