I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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