Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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