Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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