My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
