my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
