So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
