I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize