I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
