if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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