i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
