masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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