i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
