"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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