her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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