we have pet lesbian snakes
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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