How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
