a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
