She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize