Princesses don't give blow jobs
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
