alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
